Kids on Leashes

Have you ever been lucky enough to spot this phenomenon? If there were ever a time to pass judgement on someone at first glance, it would be now. These leashes say to the world, "I am a mean, horrible parent and am afraid that my child will try and escape the throes of my domination." You must have caught your child trying to plot an escape. I bet it was written on the tiles of the bathroom wall with those bathtub water crayons. Let me help you out... As long as you have the leash on them, why not take even further precaution and throw in a muzzle and choke collar, as well. The muzzle will prevent you from having to converse with your child, plus, they won't be able to chew their way through that leash while you're [obviously] not paying attention. The choke collar will just provide you with that extra sense of power. When that wanna-be-fugitive child turns to you and says in that baby-ish little voice you loathe, "You huwrtin meeeeee", you can give them something to cry about. Bottom line is, there's no better way to get a head start on your child's life leading to a lack of dignity and self respect. I say, we all start carrying around some heavy duty scissors.. when you happen to come upon this awkward situation, sneakily cut this evil leash and set the child free! Some concerned, caring citizen is bound to spot the child and offer it a better life; at least with a fenced-in backyard.